December

December was kind of boring. Or maybe, I just spent too much time thinking about the future to really focus on anything interesting and fun.

I love Christmas Markets. I ended most of my off days this month by walking through the busy market. Hovering by yet another booth featuring christmas ornaments or porcelain villages, I couldn’t help but think about how much my mom would have loved it. I have a few photos saved on my phone that I would have sent her in another life. Walking through the cobblestone squares surrounded by joyous laughter caused by too much Glühwein helped bring a little more of the Christmas spirit into my soul. It helped make up for the lack of snow.

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December did feature another bucket list trip, Paris. That weekend was full of the classic tourist stops and experiences. Photos at the Eiffel Tower. Watching police walk under the Arch de Trompf. Getting mildly creeped out in the catacombs. Seeing the aftereffects of the Notre Dame fire from afar. Spending too much time getting lost in the Louvre and not enough time in front of the art. Calling wine, bread, and cheese a meal. All good stuff.

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Christmas itself approached faster than anticipated; without snow to mark winter, it creeped up on me. Here they do all their celebrations on Christmas Eve, which was new to me. I kept busy enough, we had a full house on the day. With all three kids home and some extended family, there was a total of ten of us for the evening. What threw me off the most that night, was that their tree featured lite candles, I guess no one cares about fire safety? Once the family returned from church, everyone started ripping into their presents. I spent most of this time chatting with the grandparents and trying to distract myself from how much I missed my own family in that moment. The evening ended after dinner and long conversations, both which included a good amount of wine!

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On Christmas Day the kids all left, off to Dubai for vacation with their mother. This left me mostly on my own for the following week. It gave me ample time to handle my intense homesickness and have what can only be called a conference call with my family that brought me back to square one. New Years rolled around and I managed to find my to a dinner party with seven perfectly good strangers, which ended up being a blast. The groups consisted of another girl from the USA, a girl from Brazil, a guy from India, three girls from Germany, and guy that’s half German half Scottish. Conversation was plenty interesting with that kind of diversity. The group at some point dubbed me ‘Wolfie’ after I dumped out some random wolf facts while we were talking about wilderness, animals, and such. I was tentative before the get-together, but I ended up being very glad that I went. It was a great way to greet a new decade.

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I do have to note that this month had me thinking a lot. About the future mainly. About summer jobs. Maybe going to Alaska. About grad school. Maybe pushing that back another year. About what to do and where to go if I do take another year. About taking the GRE. And how long I need to study for it. And if I really want to spend my time abroad studying for a test. About my brother's upcoming wedding, if I can even go to it or not. And, of course, I spent all this time thinking and stressing about this stuff, which means that I haven’t gotten any further in resolving any of these questions rolling around in my head. I’ll get there. Eventually.